I wrote a (nearly) paragraph by paragraph transcription of the SOTU address. I hope it makes you smile a little after the shitty week we've all had.
Advance of freedom
from twelve to hundred twenty two
go to hell Hamas
Radical Islam
I forgot about bin Laden
makes me pee myself
We love our freedom
all will fight to maintain it
except my daughters
Let's attack Islam
better to fight them abroad
they're in the last throes
We saved liberty
in France and Spain and Belgium
please help - send some troops
Afghan insurgents
Karzai confined to palace
mission accomplished
Continuing efforts
at reconstruction
what costs absolutely zip?
Iraq democracy
greeted as liberators
ignore Bob Woodruff
The troops stay until
victory brings them all home
unless they die first
Congress's counsel
I seek it unless you
don't agree with me
Hindsight not wisdom
and do not second-guess me
fuck yourself Murtha
We have a duty
to speak with total candor
except under oath
I'll get personal
mention a dead marine
good for the ratings
We honor brave troops
and military families
except in Crawford
Defeat terrorists
offer alternative hope
reject all truces
Rest of Middle East
they offered bullshit changes
I fell for them all
Iran is now held
hostage by religious nuts
sounds like the US
I speak to Iran
directly; tried with Iraq but
they have no power
To the down-trodden
we will spread freedom to all
our bombs will find you
Our culture of life
executed so many
then we were for it
Booga booga boo!
Osama is nailing your wife
booga booga boo!
September one one
drink! all you playing at home
you waited so long
NSA spying
I break the law when I want
and blame Bill Clinton
Economy great!
Create jobs at record pace
five dollars per hour
I warn of stagnate
fiscal ruin impending
trust me - I know bad
I shape agenda
Raising standards of living
for my wealthy friends
Recent Tax Relief
lets people keep their money
and debt for our kids
Our Social Programs
Cut the discretionary
Let them get fourth jobs
Social Sec. program
I haven't forgotten you
pilfering begins
Opening markets
need to solve trade imbalance
Singing Basses for all!
Now immigration:
We have needs that must be filled
my floors need washing
Health Care Reformer
If you're already insured
You're not up shit's creek
Addicted to oil
We're losing bad in Iraq
Find a different fuel
Edumacation
We propose new school program
Funded by bake sales
Strive for compassion
Measure of society
Just kidding, New Orleans
Will quote social gains
based on sketchy arguments
my leadership rulz!
Many deep concerns
Congress's ethical scandals
nothing to see here
Supreme Court (in)justice
soon women won't vote or drive
kiss my ass, Kerry
Ethical science
human-animal hybrids?
did way too much acid
I make this pledge now
we will reform our ethics
(my fingers are crossed)
We rebuild the gulf
help out those in many ways
who we didn't kill
As for HIV
we'll make new funding
I'm looking at you, black folks
My judge: History
mention Lincoln, King, Europe
oh man, am I screwed
May God bless us all
as long as you believe in
the State Sponsored God